Emotion Regulation
In this post, our DBT and Grief Specialist Laura dives in to explore an important yet poorly understood topic
“What does it even mean to regulate your emotions?”
This is an important question that often comes up during conversations with clients. In short, emotion regulation is the ability to have control over one’s own emotions and feelings.
The longer answer: emotion regulation involves learning how to regulate your nervous system across different situations. The goal is not to eliminate emotions, but to regulate them in a way that reduces suffering. Rather than supressing or avoiding those feelings, clients are taught how to understand and manage them. Emotion regulation has also been proven to help with symptoms of anxiety, depression, and complex mental health illnesses, such as borderline personality disorder.
What is emotional dysregulation?
When different feelings trigger our anxiety and/or defenses, our autonomic nervous system can become activated. This can lead to the brain’s amygdala (the tiny almond-shaped part of your brain responsible for fear and anxiety) to fire off stress hormones throughout the body, often resulting in either fight-flight or freeze-fawn mode. When this happens, the ability to think using our prefrontal cortex (the logical part of the brain) is shut off, and can lead to poor decision making and impulsive behaviours (such as emotional outbursts). This is because our nervous system has become dysregulated. By learning how to engage the parasympathetic nervous system, we can go back to using both the logical side of the brain (left) and emotional side of the brain (right), resulting in more conscious decision making (and hopefully less outbursts).
How can DBT Help?
Learning how to regulate your emotions can feel like a daunting challenge, especially with emotions that feel extra intense or overwhelming. Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) is one of the many therapies that offers practical tools and skills to help teach you to manage these emotions more effectively. DBT emphasizes that emotions are valid and serve a purpose, while highlighting the importance of learning how to respond to them constructively.
When working with a therapist, you have the opportunity to explore and practice emotion regulation strategies in a safe and supportive environment. Below is a brief overview of how emotion regulation is often integrated into therapy sessions:
1) Establishing Safety
Before diving into emotion regulation techniques, therapists work to establish a collaborative relationship where you feel comfortable expressing your feelings. Creating a safe space is a key component to be able to express your feelings and emotions freely.
2) Identifying and Labelling Emotions:
This might sound simple, but it can be incredibly challenging to recognize what you’re feeling when emotions are intense. In session, the client and therapist will practice identifying these emotions. Together, you’ll start to notice patterns, making it easier to label emotions when they arise.
3) Understanding the Functions of Emotions
Every emotion serves a purpose. Understanding these functions shows us that emotions are not inherently good or bad – they simply provide information about your experiences and needs. For example, if you’re feeling anxious, it might signal that something in your environment feels threatening. Exploring the purpose behind your emotions can lead to greater self-awareness and healthier emotional responses.
4) Exploring Triggers
By exploring past experiences, current stressors, or specific situations that lead to intense emotional responses, your therapist can help you understand what triggers your emotions. Outside of session, the client might be asked to write down situations and feelings that trigger them to discuss together in the future.
5) Developing Coping Strategies
Your therapist will teach you a wide variety of emotion regulation strategies to help practice in and outside of sessions. Some examples include mindfulness practice, breathing exercises, and grounding techniques. These can help you reduce an emotion’s intensity, and teaches client’s how to be present with your emotions without judgment.
6) Cognitive Restructuring
Therapists actively work on helping a client learn to reframe negative thoughts that contribute to emotional distress. Learning how to change your perspective on situations can help reduce their emotional impact. For example, viewing a challenge as an opportunity for growth.
Using emotion regulation in therapy can be a powerful way to transform how you experience and manage your emotions. By learning to identify, understand, and manage your emotions, you can improve your mental health, enhance your relationships, and become more emotionally resilient. It is important to remember that developing these skills takes time and practice – but your therapist is there to support you every step of the way.